By: Jon Zirkle
On the first full weekend of March, twenty-eight men gathered at Camp Friedenswald in southern Michigan for a Mennonite Men retreat. The COVID-19 pandemic and other reasons had led to a pause in this annual retreat for several years, and many celebrated its return. Rarely, if ever, had this retreat been offered in the spring during the Lenten season. One never knows if early March in the Midwest could bring snowstorms, thunderstorms, or heavy rain, all capable of canceling a retreat. But despite a nearby tornado on Friday afternoon, weather did not cancel this long-anticipated gathering. Praise God!
The theme, Becoming Malleable Men: Practicing Faith and Being Formed, was shaped largely by Mike Martin, Executive Director of RAWtools. Unfortunately, Mike came down with the flu days before and was unable to travel from Colorado. Nonetheless, gifted camp staff and his already-prepared content allowed the retreat to proceed, one where we truly practiced malleability together. All arrived safely, even those coming from as far as Wisconsin and Colorado.
Throughout the weekend, God’s creation provided rich symbolism for unpredictability, beauty, and adaptability. Heavy rain and thunder on Friday night moved our campfire indoors, where the fireplace and acoustics drew us together beautifully for prayer and singing. Several men jumped into icy Shavehead Lake on both Saturday and Sunday morning, a real bonding experience. Saturday’s mild weather allowed a hike to see thousands of young native trees planted through a Mennonite Men JoinTrees grant, and camp staff Amy Huser and Jonathan Fridley shared about land management and creation care.
Saturday afternoon was a highlight for many. Optional activities included disc golf, cutting invasives, archery, forging metal, and chopping wood as service to camp. The evening closed with popcorn and fireside singing at Mosquito Hollow, a long and beloved camp tradition.
A focal point of the weekend was forging metal pieces brought from home alongside decommissioned weapon parts from RAWtools’ peacemaking programs. Volunteers Jerry Martin and Abenezer Dejene guided us as we worked in pairs, each altering their partner’s forged piece in some way. Letting others shape our work physically teaches us to learn from one another rather than compete for control.
On Saturday night, we forged in the dark by headlamp, then reflected in small groups. Mike Martin’s words have stayed with me: “The transformation I see at the anvil has so much carry-over into our transformation throughout life. It connects to conflict and harm and repair and reconciliation. We have plenty of good things that have shaped us as well.”
Sunday morning brought bird watching led by college student Peter Moser, then outdoor worship in glorious sunshine. We sang hymns as we attached our forged pieces to a tree-like sculpture, left at camp as a lasting memory of our gathering. We ended in a prayer circle, new bonds formed.
Abenezer put it well: “At the Mennonite Men’s retreat, I had an opportunity to fellowship with other men from diverse walks of life. We shared stories about the individuals who have influenced our lives, and took part in forging a piece of gun into something beautiful. The retreat provided a chance to test whether I had forgotten my blacksmithing skills and to reflect on my malleability as one shaped in the likeness of Christ. The fellowship and experience at the Mennonite Men’s retreat were a time of learning and reflection on how we can be shaped to serve others.”
A question many often ask: do men really need to gather?
My answer: yes! As brothers and participants in God’s kin-dom, we need each other. Our stories matter. This was echoed by male retreat participants in their evaluation forms. They noted that the vulnerable sharing, small group time, singing, and sharing aloud “I Am From” poems we wrote were the highlights of the weekend.
Frankly, it’s rare to find sacred spaces where male sharing is deep and personal, where there is trust and respect even when our male experiences and realities differ. Building trust, becoming malleable, and listening well to one another takes practice. We can look to biblical stories of Jesus and the disciples for examples.
These are challenging times for men in the US, in Canada, and all over the world. I hope you find other men to connect with, be it one-on-one for coffee, in a small group, or at a retreat. Stay tuned for the next Mennonite Men retreat, or reach out if you want to organize a retreat in your neck of the woods.
Photos by Jon Zirkle and Camp Friedenswald
